Please describe the best summer party ever. Who is invited? What are the libations and eatables? And most importantly, describe your outfit changes. Thank you. :)
this is a very important question & i am honored to be asked.
i have two dream summer parties, and i shall tell you about them both because i am in the middle of avoiding doing some horrific HTML work.
both parties would be held at my home, which will be some glorious mid-century with huge windows, perfectly manicured lawns & a pristine, classic suburban pool.
the first party would be an extravagant garden party. starting at 4pm, only my classiest friends would be invited because it would be a chic & sophisticated event that all of the modern day’s tastemakers would be attending. preferably, there would be a live, big band (think Godfather part two) but, if not, we would listen to strictly nino rota/fellini soundtracks & things of that nature. there will be lots of dancing & elbow rubbing. we’ll serve mojitos, champagne, fine cabernet & scotch on the rocks. we’ll daintily partake in chickpea croquettes, seared scallops, cheddar cheese puffs, dulcia domestica dates & an assortment of cheeses. i will wear a glorious sundress that betty draper would shit her pants over until the sun dips into the ocean beyond my estate’s view, and then i will put on a perfect black dress for the evening. as the night darkens, the crowds will part and eventually a core group of kick-ass people will remain and we’ll all get naked and go in the hot tub after taking all the drugs we’d been hiding all day.
the second party is a fucking killer barbeque. this party starts at 2pm and everyone i know that’s fucking FUN is invited. the barbeque is going with everything from hot dogs to filets, with a twice stocked bar. i will first be wearing a pair of perfectly cut off levis with some custom designed mint teal, marc jacobs crop top and custom neon coral wedges but after an hour or two, you know once most people had shown up (because i will one day live in a world where people fucking show up to events on TIME), i’d put on my new house of harlow sunglasses i currently have, with a great big black sun hat and a high-waisted black bikini. as the day goes on & everyone is swimming & getting WASTED & NAKED & CRAAZYYY, we bust out the slip & slide. the party is soundtracked by me, with like eight hours of my favorite music. everyone is dancing their asses off. just constant dancing then pooling then slip sliding then pooling then hot tubbing then showering then dancing again until we all have sex or pass out on my shag carpeting after spending at least two hours having coked out talks in my conversation pit.
drugs are not necessary but i’m just really into indulgence with good friends.
another great party is the beach party but that will just be me reenacting all of annette funicello’s films, singing & sexist comments included.
the best summer party, in all reality, is just your best friends, a grill, a lot of booze & a pool/the ocean. every summer party is the best party. :)
so, this past weekend i threw myself a birthday party. a david puddy themed birthday. for those of you who don’t get it, there is a seinfeld episode in which elaine’s boyfriend david puddy asks the fundamental question that has haunted me for most of my life: “Oh. Hey, how come people don’t have dip for dinner? Why is it only a snack, why can’t it be a meal, you know? I don’t understand stuff like that.”
& i was always like, “you know what david puddy? I DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT EITHER!”
so, i threw myself a small, david puddy themed birthday. #justdips
i have discovered a couple things:
1. it’s the best birthday to have if you want to ensure people will bring food to contribute. it seems that everyone loves making dips!
2. it’s the worst birthday to have because you will have ten different leftover dips in your fridge for the next [insert whatever increment of time you need to demolish an entire fridge full of snacks].
3. it’s the BEST birthday to have because you will have ten different leftover dips in your fridge for the next [insert whatever increment of time you need to demolish an entire fridge full of snacks]!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE DIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!
“They’re fucking gross, man. Look, I love beautiful girls too. I think everyone should be free to have their knee socks and their sweaty shorts, but I’m over it. I’m over this weird, exhausted girl. I’m over the girl that’s tired and freezing and hungry. I like bossy girls, I always have. I like people filled with life. I’m over this weird media thing with all this, like, hollow-eyed, empty, party crap.”—Amy Poehler on American Apparel (via mollylambert)
Why not buy a pair of SAWA shoes instead? The shoes are made in Cameroon, with all the materials coming from African countries — laces from Tunisia, rubber from Egypt, bags from Nigeria, and leather from Morocco. All buying Toms Shoes does is destroy local economies for the sake of making you think you’re helping the world by consuming more crap manufactured in China.
thank you guys for your support & lovely comments about my pilot. truly means a lot, especially since yesterday i got the old "no one likes you... i feel sorry for you, you pathetic, waste of time, pale, boney, drunk" email. :)